I had a brilliant idea. I’d mop the floors.

Like, get out the never before been used in the new house – mop, find the good floor cleaning stuff, and really go at it. Or at least get as far as possible during 1 hour that I assigned to the task. As it turns out, “as far as possible” means: find bucket, rinse bucket and fill with water, wash out cat’s water dish while I’m there, find mop, admire the dust entombed gray coating that has formed from lack of use, try to dunk mop into bucket and realize that mop exceeds bucket diameter by at least 3 inches, wedge mop in sideways so the corner touches the water, splash self, curse, wedge mop farther, splash more water, move floor mats, mop, mop up water that was splashed out, wedge the right tip of mop back into the bucket, notice the time, 5 minutes remaining for mop duty, cheer, decide to cut out early, drag mop and bucket into utility room, prop mop into a corner, notice the mop handle keeps falling away from wall and is pointing directly at anyone walking through doorway, vow to remember that mop is there, leave mop, turn off light, wonder how long it’ll be before I forget about the mop and skewer myself on it when I wander through the doorway later.

Just to mess with myself, I’m going to try and forget about the mop.
That’ll teach me for trying to get myself to mop in the first place.